


larger than life

by couldaughter



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Superheroes, Talking Animals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 13:38:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11014521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/couldaughter/pseuds/couldaughter
Summary: “Don’t youdare, Bobrovsky,” he said. “I don’t need another swooning cover photo. I’ve got a reputation to maintain.”“You have it framed in our lounge,” Sergei pointed out, grinning. Even without his glasses, it made him look a little more like himself, less Last Son of Krypton and more Drinks Juice From The Carton. “Not my fault Dubinsky is such a good photographer.”





	larger than life

Getting kidnapped was getting old.

Nick sighed, shifting as much as the ropes around his wrists and ankles would allow. Whoever’d got him this time was at least competent at knots; there’d been one memorable occasion when he’d escaped on his own thanks to a truly awful figure-eight. He’d started planning an article on the lack of ex-Boy Scouts among the supervillain hiring pool while waiting outside the warehouse.

The less said about zip-ties, the better.

He looked up at the sound of the door opening, wincing at the light it let into the dingy room. Being concussed was Nick’s least favourite part of getting kidnapped - pretty much everything else stopped as soon as he got rescued. The headaches lingered.

A short figure stood silhouetted in the doorway. “Settling in well, Mr Foligno?” 

“It’s not like I had much choice, but yeah, it’s just awesome,” said Nick, squinting at the figure in the doorway. He hadn’t recognised the voice, but that didn’t really mean anything in Columbus. There was always _something_ weird going on, and a put-on accent would’ve been low down on the scale of weirdness. He shifted again, feeling the ropes rub against his bare wrists. Rescue really could not come fast enough.

“Well, you were getting a little too close to… the _truth_ , for our liking.” Typical villain bullshit. Nick would’ve sighed again, but he didn’t actually _like_ getting punched in the jaw.

He hadn’t even been working on a great story when he’d got clocked in the back of the head. Just some small-time smuggling ring, working from somewhere near Columbus Zoo. It didn’t seem like they’d moved him far from where he’d dropped, either. The smell of the zoo was unfortunately distinctive; Nick had a premonition of the laundry he’d have to do when he got back to the apartment. 

Working out of the Zoo probably meant there was gonna be an animal theme to the whole thing, which at least meant Atkinson would get to put a really stupid pun in the story title. That always got him in a good mood.

“And who would you be, anyway?” Nick was looking forward to writing up this story, at least. He always got to use his best adjectives for this kind of thing.

“Oh, you’ll find out soon enough.”

“Real mysterious,” said Nick, cocking his head. He was pretty sure he’d heard a telltale thump from somewhere in the building. _Finally_. “Look, man, is this gonna take much longer? I got a few episodes of Test Kitchen on my DVR. I had _plans_ for this evening.” Plans that also involved the guy currently working his way towards them, but it wasn’t like Currently Nameless Villain had to know that.

He blinked a couple of times, his vision finally clearing enough to make out more than the outline of the woman in front of him. 

“Oh, you gotta be kidding me,” he said, more loudly than he’d meant to. The woman was, to put it bluntly, a gorilla. Stood on her hind legs and with a decent attempt at pants on her lower half, to be fair, but definitely a gorilla. There was some kind of collar around her neck, metallic with a blinking green light and exposed wires on a side panel. “I got kidnapped by the Columbus chapter of the Gorilla Grodd Fan Club?”

She bristled. “Why does everyone always assume we like that guy! We just want a little startup money, maybe some better food.”

“I mean, you ever think about just asking for that stuff?” Nick asked. Stalling for time was one of his most frequent hobbies. “It’d definitely involve 100% less kidnapping of handsome journalists.”

“Well, this is just a lot more fun,” said the gorilla. “If I had my way…” The light blinked in time with her words, a faint growl undercutting her words. He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t picked up on it before, but then to be fair he was working with a concussion and in the dark.

The gorilla, oblivious to his investigation, started to rant about her own plans for the organisation of gorillas that had apparently formed at the Columbus Zoo. He was getting the impression she wasn’t the head of the operation, and she definitely wasn’t a fan of playing second fiddle.

It was all a moot point anyway. Nick smiled, tilting his chair backwards slightly, as Superman arrived in the doorway, just behind his captor. Unable, obviously, to offer a jaunty wave, he settled for a grin and a tilt of his head.

“Good afternoon,” said Superman, pleasantly. He glanced at the gorilla, then raised his eyebrows at Nick. “You alright?”

“Pretty much,” said Nick. “Glad you’re here, though.” He tried not to let the relief he was feeling colour his voice too much, but it was obvious anyway. They’d known each other long enough to pick up on that kind of thing without much evidence.

“I should think so,” said Superman, with a smirk. Nick snorted, tilting his chair back forward until all four legs were once again on the floor. There was no point being reckless so close to getting rescued.

The gorilla, who had clearly needed a moment to process the sudden appearance of Columbus’s most famous resident superhero, lunged.

Superman, smiling pleasantly once again, stood perfectly still as the gorilla barrelled into him headfirst. He stayed standing while the gorilla, clearly stunned, slid to the floor. Superman sighed, then knelt down to check on her.

“Unconscious,” he assessed, head cocked as he listened for her pulse. Nick shifted again, wanting to reach out, and remembered his restraints.

“Help a guy out?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, of course,” said Superman. Laser vision really was the coolest thing, in Nick's experience. It was probably a miracle he hadn't got second degree burns from it yet, but that was a thought for another time. He stood up slowly, rubbing feeling back into his wrists. He felt dizzy, but not to a level that required immediate attention.

Superman put a steadying hand on his elbow; let his other hand rest on his neck. His expression softened, less businesslike now the immediate threat had been dealt with. It was always sweet seeing the switch from Superman, saviour of Columbus, to Sergei, concerned boyfriend. Nick didn’t think he’d ever get used to it, and didn’t particularly want to.

Nick, not quite satisfied with the hand on his elbow, shook Sergei off. A hurt look flashed across his face, before Nick spread his arms wide and swept Sergei into a proper hug, hooking his chin over Sergei’s shoulder. 

Sergei’s arms came up around Nick’s back, squeezing a little too tight. Nick knew he'd accidentally cracked one of Batman's ribs after a particularly close call (something to do with an underwater city and Aquaman's harpoons) so he was glad Sergei was good at reigning in the super strength with him. Although, there was something to be said for a boyfriend who could easily lift the furniture during spring cleaning.

“Did Torts clear you to come running after me?” Nick asked, pulling back a little to smile where Sergei could see. He always forgot they were pretty much of a height even when Sergei was in full superhero mode. Something about the cape made him seem a lot taller. “I mean, it’s not like he’d know why.”

“There was a report of an escaped tiger at the Zoo,” said Sergei, smiling back. His hair was as ruffled as always, his fringe falling across his forehead and almost, but not quite, getting in his eyes. It was a careful balancing act, between his civvies and his super-heroics, but his hair was pretty much always a mess. “Of course, now I see it is not a tiger at all.” He glanced down at the gorilla, lying prone on the floor. “Should probably tell zookeeper?”

“I mean, someone must’ve given her that collar,” said Nick reasonably. “Let’s call it into the Dispatch.” He reached up, dragging a hand through Sergei's hair. Sergei sighed happily, the line of tension in his shoulders softening. “You should probably get changed."

“Oh, yes,” said Sergei, glancing down at his costume as if he’d forgotten it was there. Nick was pretty sure it was an act, but then he’d seen Sergei try to leave the apartment without his glasses more than a few times. 

Nick smiled, moved his hands to Sergei’s shoulders and unclasped the cape, letting it pool on the floor. “Did you bring your civvies?”

“Sure,” Sergei replied, gesturing vaguely towards the door. “Left them somewhere on the way, though. There were a lot of gorillas to punch.”

“You can go get it,” said Nick. “I’ll be fine here.”

Sergei looked at him.

“Oh, shut up,” said Nick, leaning against Sergei's side. “You’re such a mother hen.”

“Is not my fault you take care of everyone before yourself,” Sergei replied, fondly. “It’s your worst quality.”

“I thought that was when I forget to use a coaster,” said Nick, warming to the conversation. They made their way out of the room, closing the door and pushing a nearby chair under the handle. “I swear that shouldn’t work from this side.”

Sergei shrugged. “Worth a shot.”

After a couple of featureless corridors Nick’s legs started to wobble; he’d been stuck in the chair for a good few hours and they clearly weren’t up to this much walking so soon. He glanced at Sergei, who was giving him an appraising look.

“Don’t you _dare_ , Bobrovsky,” he said. “I don’t need another swooning cover photo. I’ve got a reputation to maintain.”

“You have it framed in our lounge,” Sergei pointed out, grinning. Even without his glasses, it made him look a little more like himself, less Last Son of Krypton and more Drinks Juice From The Carton. “Not my fault Dubinsky is such a good photographer.”

“Dubinsky is a hack,” said Nick, without much heat. Brandon was a good friend, when he wasn’t selling Nick out for a photo of him in a bridal carry and laughing his way through every night out for the next six months.

He pushed on towards the nearest wall, then slid down until he was sat comfortably on the floor, one knee drawn up to his chest. “Go get changed. I’ll be here, and you can help me out in your own goddamn clothes.”

“Fair enough,” said Sergei peaceably. He raced off, a faint bluish blur, and was back in under two minutes. Nick took a few seconds to drink him in, back in his button down, slacks and glasses. He always missed the glasses most; they were the first thing he’d really noticed about Sergei, back when he’d first been hired and Nick had no idea about his co-worker’s sideline in heroics. Mostly he’d thought he was cute.

He still did, to be fair.

“Glad I didn’t see you this time,” said Nick, taking Sergei’s hand to help him up. “I think all the spinning would just make me queasy feeling like this.”

Sergei put a supporting arm around his back. Nick leaned into him, just a little, put his own arm around Sergei’s shoulders. “You still want watch that cooking show tonight?” Sergei asked, glancing across to check on him.

“Obviously,” Nick replied, as they walked on towards the exit. “I’m not letting a gorilla ruin our first night in in two weeks.” He paused, wincing as his head throbbed. “Maybe turn the brightness all the way down, though.”

“Of course,” said Sergei, pushing open the door. There was, mercifully, no Dubinsky waiting for them on the other side. “I think we know best concussion treatment by now, no?”

“Wish to god we didn’t, but yeah,” said Nick, patting his pockets. “Oh, those bastards.” He had a sudden, hazy remembrance of seeing his phone get crushed under a suspiciously large shoe. “Can you call it in? My phone’s in a thousand pieces somewhere on the riverside.”

“Sure thing,” Sergei replied, pulling his own phone out of his messenger bag. They took a seat on a bench with giraffe spots, the door having lead them out into the middle of the Zoo. Thankfully, it was after hours; the only witnesses were a few flamingos that hadn’t quite settled down for the night.

Nick zoned out as Sergei rang into the Dispatch. He was getting good at telling an interesting version of the truth while missing out what some might have called the most important facts. In this case that was the appearance of Superman, although he did keep in the talking gorilla. 

He heard Sergei ring off with a cheerful, “See you soon!” and pulled himself together in time to keep Sergei from giving him another mother hen sort of look.

It wasn’t like it was his fault he kept getting kidnapped.

“Home?” He asked, offering Sergei his hand. Sergei took it, lacing their fingers together.

“I think we can arrange this,” he agreed, smiling softly. “The paper called an Uber.” As they stood up from the bench he glanced around, his eyes turning the odd shade of silver they always did when he did the X-ray vision thing, then turned back to Nick. “I’m very glad you are alright.”

“You and me both,” said Nick with a reassuring grin. He yawned. “It does really take it out of you though. Jesus.”

“Not quite,” said Sergei. He leaned forward and kissed Nick, soft and quick. Nick let his eyes close, put one hand on Sergei’s neck. Kissing back was easy, as always, the soft feeling of Sergei’s mouth familiar and still as heart melting as always. He pulled back after a few seconds, feeling what was probably an embarrassingly revealing smile spread across his face. “Let’s go home. I don’t trust those flamingos.”

Sergei huffed a laugh. “First gorilla, now flamingos! What animal _can_ we trust?”

“Who knows,” said Nick, tugging Sergei along as they neared the exit. “I hear Batman had to fight a Zebra, once.”

“Wow,” said Sergei solemnly. “That must have been really hard.” Sergei and Batman had a relationship that Nick failed to understand even after five years of working together. It mostly involved terrible Christmas gifts and bitching over FaceTime, as far as he could tell. 

Nick snorted. “I think it had magnet powers.”

“Of course it did,” Sergei said, deadpan. “Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> oh hi there, My Favourite Dudes, it's been ages! nice to be back in this corner of the internet
> 
> i've had a hundred words or so of this au sitting in my gdrive for almost a year now, and in lieu of actually sitting down and cranking out the 15k+ superman au i really don't have time to write, i present you with this hypothetical scene in the life of nick foligno, investigative reporter/professional kidnap victim and his boyfriend sergei bobrovsky, Literally Superman/professional photographer.
> 
> batman never actually fought a zebra, but he did fight an enemy named zebra man who had magnet powers. canon divergence: columbus zoo doesn't actually have gorillas as far as i am aware.
> 
> title is from holding out for a hero by bonnie tyler because OBVIOUSLY
> 
> hmu on twitter @zoreikaras or on tumblr @sedsycat if you enjoy hockey, the mcelroys or tweets about the weather


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